I think I have an odd fascination with relgion, churches, and christian culture of the south…I’m not religious, I guess I’d be considered agnostic, and I often make fun of religious beliefs, but yet being raised in a christian home and having been to so many churches in my life there is something about it that stills resonates with. The soft red carpet across the sanctuary, rows of pews and stained glass windows on the wall parallel to each other, that musty church smell, the dim lighting throughout the hallways, images of the crucifixion almost everywhere you turn, the sound of traditional hymns, the sunday school room, the pastor’s study…everything about a modern day traditional church is such a big part of my childhood, and both then and now when I go inside a church it’s like stepping into a different world.
Being agnostic, I’m amazed at how many churches there are ,especially in rural areas, and how and/or why so many people believe in the reasons of why the churches are there in the first place. I mean realistically a group of people meet once a week in an odd building to sing praise to an imaginary man in the sky because they believe he created the world and saved us from sin and they are fortunate to realize this because those that don’t “know” about him are doomed to suffer into eternity. And yet, there is something oddly beautiful, although creepy, about religious beliefs and church culture. I mean, I love going to church, but it has nothing to do with God. I love the warm, yet eerie feeling I get when I step into a church as a non-believer. I love the music. I love the pastor speaking passionately, even though I think he/she is dead wrong. I love the stories of the Bible. The problem is if I went to church every week no one there would or could understand why. They think I have a passion for jesus when really I just have a passion for culture and creepy things, haha. I don’t even think my non-religious friends could grasp my love for the church…I feel completely unique in this respect, though I do hope there other people out there with similar feelings.
As musician I’ve certainly thought finding a paid position to play music in the church. Obviously as a guitarist I’d fit more in with contemporary services and praise bands, but I’d love to learn piano and play traditional hymns. Of course, is it ethical to take a paid position in a church and be a non-believer. Will I feel awkward praising imaginary beings and being surrounded by people who if they found out my true beliefs would consider my soul doomed. I don’t know. I’m rambling now. I want to go to a church here in Asheville, just to see what it’s like.